


Practical Herbology

by TamerOfPickles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Plant sex, Urethral Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:00:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3201593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamerOfPickles/pseuds/TamerOfPickles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Seamus discover that Neville has found an application of herbology that wasn't taught in class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practical Herbology

Dean and Seamus engaged in whispered conversation as they returned to their dorm. Their private jokes didn't require secrecy, but they found them more enjoyable if they didn't have to pause to try to explain them to nosy neighbors. This explained why they didn't realize Neville was already there until they had taken several steps into the room. It also explained why Neville didn't notice them either, along with his back being toward the door and his own distraction.

Dean noticed Neville's strange behavior and stopped midsentence and midstride. “Neville?"

Neville froze.

Then, he frantically did something in front of him that Dean and Seamus couldn't see before dropping the front of his robe back into position. He turned to face the other two boys and revealed that his face was burning red. “Yes?" Neville was trying to pretend everything was normal, but he was so nervous that he had barely managed to speak a single word.

Dean considered playing along, but he couldn't resist a chance to get a guy to talk about wanking. “What were you doing?"  
Neville managed to become even more red. “Nothing. Just . . . organizing my nightstand." He backed up, unconsciously trying to hide what was on the stand.

Seamus and Dean walked around Neville so that they could see what he was trying to hide. Behind his back was a strange potted plant. It was about a foot tall and had a single large cone-shaped flower. Seamus touched one of the leaves. “A plant?" He bent down to take a closer look at the flower. It was green and unlike any flower he had seen before. The opening of the flower was a little over an inch wide and rather than tapering it formed a tube several inches long. “You were buggering the flower?!"

Neville's blush, which had begun to subside, returned. “It's not a flower. It's a specialized leaf." Neville paused before remembering to add. “I mean. No, of course not!"

Dean leaned over to take a closer look. “It does look it would fit nicely. How does it feel?"

Neville gave him a bemused look. “You're not making fun of me?"

Dean stood back up. “No! We might tease you a bit for getting caught, but there's nothing wrong with wanking. Every guy does it."

Seamus nodded. “Dean and I love to compare techniques."

Neville was relieved if still dubious. “Really? Most guys are ruthless about making fun of other guys for wanking."

Dean shrugged. “Guys like to pretend that they can sneak off with a girl any time they need to get off, but most of them haven't even been with a girl. They're spanking it like everyone else."

Seamus nodded. “And if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right. There's no point in repeating the same stroke over and over again. Friends are great at coming up with new ideas." He waved toward the plant. “Like this thing. How does it work?"

Neville was excited to have others look at him as an expert. “It's a troll suckle. It lives in part of the Forbidden Forest with very poor soil, so it needs animals to give it the nutrients it needs."

Dean took a closer look. “Like a fly trap?"

“Exactly! Except that rather than eating flies, it, um, pleasures male creatures and eats their . . . seed."

“Wow," Seamus said before reaching down to touch the front of his robe. “Do you mind if I...?"

“Uh, go ahead." Neville still thought that they were being weirdly nonchalant about the subject, but he was enjoying the attention and happy that they weren't telling everyone what they caught him doing. He was willing to go along.

Rather than just slip his cock out, Seamus began to fully undress. Meanwhile, Dean cast a series of charms to ensure that they wouldn't be interrupted. Neville was ashamed that he had forgotten such basic precautions, but he suspected that he wouldn't regret it.

Once he was naked, Seamus walked up to the plant with one hand on his growing dick. He lined up the tube with himself, and pushed it down his entire length. Seamus moaned at the sensation. He began to slowly thrust in and out, but Dean and Neville could see that it was expanding and contracting to give Seamus additional stimulation. “Neville, you are a genius."

As he watched Seamus fuck the plant, Dean began to rub himself through his clothes. One by one, he removed articles of clothing until he was naked as well and wanking himself. Seamus noticed Dean's arousal. “Want a try?"

Dean smiled. “Of course!" He walked up next Seamus who pulled the leaf off of himself and slid it down Dean's dick. Dean began thrusting into the leaf as Seamus stepped back and stroked himself. “You weren't lying about how good this feels." After a few minutes of moaning while slowly fucking the tight leaf, Dean looked over to Neville, whose hand was under his robes rubbing himself. “Do you want it back? Sorry for hogging it after we interrupted you."

Neville was about to just lift his robe up like usual, but he decided that it would be weird to stay mostly clothed while his friends were nude. He disrobed before returning to the plant. Dean pulled out and moved out of the way to let Neville in. Neville pushed into the hole and began to fuck it. Rather than his usual quick strokes that were intended to get him off before he was discovered, Neville copied the others' more leisurely pace. He discovered that he enjoyed being able to take his time. He could enjoy the sensations, and he found that pulling back as he felt the wave of pleasure coming meant that the next one felt even better.

Eventually, he turned toward Seamus to indicate that it was his turn again. This time Seamus paid closer attention to the leaf as it came off Neville and he put it on himself. Rather than resuming his thrusting, he turned to Neville and asked, “Does this thing change size?"

Neville was a bit annoyed to have to think about herbology at the moment, but he replied, “It magically adjusts to fit whatever sticks itself inside. It can't be picky. I've heard it can even feed from giants and dragons."

Seamus was pleased with this answer. “Dean, come over here. I have an idea." When Dean was within reach, Seamus grabbed his dick and used to guide Dean into positron. By the lack of reaction to the touch, Neville guessed that Dean and Seamus were hands on when “comparing techniques." When Dean was where he wanted him, Seamus had both off their cocks lined up with the leaf's opening. He pulled it down over both of them. As Neville had said, it easily grew to accommodate both of them.

Neville watched in fascination as the other two boys fucked the same hole. Now that they had broken the unwritten rule about how much personal space guys needed when naked, he could move next to Dean to get a closer look. “Does it feel different when you're both in there?"

Dean smiled. “It's even better. Give it a try." Dean stepped towards Seamus to give Neville some space, and Neville squeezed next to them. It was tight. The sides of their hips were pressed against each other, and they had to wrap their arms around each other's shoulders. Under normal circumstances, Neville would have balked at being this close to his naked classmates, but he was too horny to care.

They paused to allow him to push in, and he pressed against the point where their cocks met and entered the leaf. Their warmth was the first thing he noticed. As he pushed in, he understood why they preferred this. The other dicks had a different texture that was a nice contrast\ to the inside of the leaf. It was also tighter. Once he was all the way in and they resumed their thrusts, his knees buckled, and he had to catch himself on the table. Their out of sync rhythms provided a much less predictable sensation than the leaf's steady milking motion.

After a few minutes of them fucking together, Seamus stopped suddenly and yelled, “What The Fuck!?"

Dean paused, puzzled, before looking down. “Whoa!"

Neville was also confused until he felt a familiar prodding at his tip. “Oh, that's just what it uses to collect emissions."

Seamus looked at him with horror. “It's trying to slide inside my cock."

Neville shrugged. “It doesn't hurt, and once it's in place, it's flexible enough to move with you."

Dean's head rolled back and his eyelids fluttered with pleasure. “I kind of like it." He began to slowly fuck the leaf again. Having it stimulate his inside added to the pleasure.

Seamus decided to trust Dean and relaxed. He wasn't happy about having something inside him, but he was getting used to the sensation surprisingly quickly. He wasn't going to let it get between him and his orgasm. Soon, they were fucking again like nothing strange had happened. They began to sweat and pant with effort, and their balls slowly tightened as they all got closer. Dean and Seamus dropped the hands between them until they were grabbing each other's butts. Neville noted this, but he was too focused on making his pleasure last to care.

Dean was the first to unload. The other two felt the pulses of his cock but not the warmth of his cum. It was too good at drinking from him to waste a drop. Seamus was next, and Neville decided to let himself go once he saw the other two. Neville’s orgasm overcame him, and it was far more intense than he had ever experienced before, either from his own hand or the troll suckle.

One by one the boys’ dicks stopped pulsing and the plant released them to collapse onto the floor. The plant retracted its vine and began to glow dimly as it began to digest its meal. For a time, the three of them just lay there exposed and tried to catch their breaths. Finally, Seamus managed to speak. “That . . . was . . . .”

“Brilliant.” Dean finished Seamus’s thought. He pushed himself up with his elbows and turned to Neville. “Thanks for sharing it with us.”

Neville smiled. “You’re welcome. Sharing was surprisingly fun.” He blushed and wondered if he should have admitted that.

Seamus laughed. “Yeah. Dean and I realized a while ago that a lot of things are more fun when done with someone else.” Before he could say anything more, a bird began singing.

Neville looked around the room for the source of the sound. “How did that get in here?”

Seamus and Dean jumped to their feet and began collecting their clothes. “It’s one of the wards warning us that someone is coming,” Seamus explained as he put on his pants.

Neville joined them in their frantic effort to clothe themselves again. “I thought they would keep people away.”

Dean attempted to shrug and put on his trousers at the same time and barely managed to keep from falling over. “You can only keep people away from their bedrooms for so long before they start to notice. They don’t do any good if people start asking awkward questions or worse dispel the wards and see what’s happening first hand.”

Seamus gave a half-smirk/half-cringe. “We learned that the hard way.”

Neville was considering whether he should inquire about the story behind that comment, but he didn’t have time. Ron and Harry entered the door and would have seen Neville putting on his robe if Dean and Seamus hadn’t stood in front of him. The five stood there in awkward silence. Before Dean and Seamus said something about the library and headed out the door. Neville picked up his herbology textbook and headed down to the common room. He knew that Harry and Ron knew that they had interrupted something, but they seemed to content to let it go. Neville suspected that it was because they had been caught in so many questionable circumstances over the years that they didn’t want to make a precedent of asking too many questions.

That night at supper, Dean sat next to Neville. During a moment when the rest of the table were distracted by a tale Fred and George were spinning, he leaned in close and asked, “How often do you need to fertilize your plant.”

Neville somehow managed not to blush. “I’ve never, um, used this much fertilizer before, so I’m not sure. Usually it takes a week to grow a new vine. I’m not sure if it will grow faster this time or wait because it has what it needs. I can let you know when it’s ready.”

“We’d like that. In the mean time, we can teach you the spells we use for privacy. And, if you want, Seamus and I would be happy to show you what we learned when we were comparing techniques.”

This time, Neville couldn’t keep from blushing. He couldn’t even imagine what the two of them had figured out together. All he could respond with was a nervous gulp and an “okay” that was so quiet even Dean could barely hear it. With that settled, Dean shifted to Seamus and, based on Seamus’s pleased reaction, filled him in.

Neville was sure of one thing: it was going to get a lot more interesting at Hogwarts.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. I'd love to discuss it with you in the comments.


End file.
